The British film industry...

is bananas. Like the Gwen Stefani song only without the annoying dancing asian girls all over the place.

I went and met up with "The Orson Wells of Dysart" (awesome). He told me about how the BBC pretty much owns the UK. It's a little scary. And I learned about how Scottish people being cheap makes them good film producers. Overall, a great afternoon.

Scotland weather is phenomenal, I don't care that people here complain that it's cold, it's perfect outside. There's no snow, it hasn't rained much, it's not in the minuses, it's fantastic.

It's day 13, and still no zombies. And brown people, still no brown people. One thing I've noticed about the UK is that it has all the same subtle racism as Canada, only without the overwhelming over compensation of friendliness. People here are polite, but they're not like Canadians with their "Brown people are super hooray for everything!" and then proceeding to not hire them. Also, because they don't have native people to dislike the way Canadians do, they seem to hate on the Polish a fair bit. I think a good comparisson would be calling the Polish the Mexicans of the UK. People complain about them taking all the jobs despite the fact that they're the jobs the British people don't want to do.

People here aren't as loud as North Americans, and they wear more neutral colours. And I've only seen one goth kid.

So I'm thinking of pulling a Madonna....

I kind of want to start talking with a fake accent so people won't ask me where in America I'm from. For some reason, the Canadian flag pin doesn't tip them off that maybe, just maybe, I'm from Canada. I mean, a Canadian flag with the word 'Canada' under it is so subtle, how could I expect anyone to figure out which country I'm from?

I had coffee with Australians today. I like Australians. They use awesome words like "Bugger" and don't understand why Scottish people don't want to have bbq's with them. They've also seen Juno so bonus points to them. Anyone else I've mentioned it to has asked if it's about Alaska.

There's a graveyard across the street. As most people reading this know, I can't even walk by a Canadian graveyard, much less be able to deal with being able to see one from my bedroom window. Here's why I have no issues with this graveyard;

1) It's way old. The bodies in it will probably be all dust now, thus eliminating the likeliness of a zombie attack.
2) There's a big effing stone wall around it. In the unlikely event of a zombie attack, the ancient zombies most likely would be too old to climb the wall without causing damage to their ancient zombie limbs.
3) on the off chance that the there was a zombie attack and the zombies figured out the wall thing, I would be able to see them coming from my bedroom window which would give me ample time to figure out how to deal with the zombie situation.

So yeah, I'm fine with crazy old graveyards, its just the new ones where the zombies would have an ok chance that I have issues with. I think zombies with scottish accents would be funny... Unless they pulled a Land of the Dead and learned how to use machine guns with the help of a giant black zombie who for some reason was able to not only use weapons but to teach other zombies to use them as well.

British mouthwash is so cool, it like, vaccuums your teeth.

Robert Burns night!!!

So I'm not really sure what Burns night is. It seems like...the Scottish equivalent of if Canada made a day celebrating Anne Murray. The explination I've been getting is that it's an excuse to eat haggis and drink (as if Scottish people need an excuse to drink!!! Joking. Really. Please don't football riot me).

I was invited to go to a pub tonight, but I've opted out. I am not about to go into a Scottish pub for the first time ever on Robert Burns night. Maybe I'll go on a Monday morning or something, to ease myself in.

There's a gaelic tv show here!!!! I thought Shannon's family were the only ones who spoke gaelic, and part of me thought maybe they made it up. I think Scottish gaelic is a bit different though. For some reason the dude speaking gaelic was in Paris. What?

I saw potentially the most low budget Sci Fi tv show in the history of earth the other day. I don't know what it was called, but Lost Love had better production value. The corpse in A Knock at the Door was more realistic than these alien body parts. My theory is that it cost $12 to make. Good job BBC. Plan 9 from Outer Space; The Series!

Speaking of Bristish TV, Coronation Street? Really? Are you serious, or is it some fantastic joke that everyone in Britain got together and planned for my arrival? HOW IS THAT THE TOP RATED SHOW HERE!?!?! 12 million people watch per episode?! I grew up watching American tv, and I still can't believe how painful it is to watch. I got through like, 10 minutes before I thought I was developping eye cancer.

So in non-Scottish news, Heath Ledger died which is disappointing. The black ribbon on whysoserious.com is all sorts of depressing.

Flikr!

let me know if this works

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23009732@N07/

Dunfermline

Today I went to Dunfermline, which much to my suprise wasn't a fictional paper company. It was really pretty. Super hilly though.





We went to Dunfermline Abbey which is a crazy old church with a crazy old graveyard and ruins of a castle behind it. That was pretty sweet. Then we went to Pittencrieff Park which was really pretty. We started at the Abbey and walked through to the High Street. We stopped and let the kids play at the play structure which was absolute insanity. I'm too young to really pull out the "when I was a kid" line, but I will. When I was a kid, we didn't have friggin nerf ground so that if you fell it was soft and you just kind of bounce. On top of that they have WAY cooler things than we ever did. There was a trampoline swing, an inground trampoline, a rock climbing wall, this crazy giant rope merry go round, spinning pogo sticks, and levels!! And it was outdoors!!! I was shocked, horrified and impressed.


Then we went to a smoothie/sandwich place, where I learned to decifer the menu. Thanks to Kate by the way for havig told me about the still water thing, there have been a few times where I've almost bought the bubbly kind.

I also went and bought shampoo and stuff but that's boring.

One thing I'm having issues getting used to? Sitting on the opposite side of the car. It's weird. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be there. It's kind of like I'm stealing the car and driving it with my mind.

I'm really shocked by the number of people in film out here. There's not even a Starbucks.

I took a bunch of picutres, but I'm just posting the one on here. I'm figuring out flikr, and will update this once I get some stuff loaded.

Blah blah blah time change blah blah blah tired

So it's 7 am...I've been awake for 3 and a half hours. My sleep schedule was fine the first two nights but now it's all weird. I fell asleep at like, 8 pm yesterday. Right now I'm filling out the application to volunteer at the Edinburgh film festival. My theory is, I'm going to end up going anyways, I might as well not have to pay for it.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a little bitter that now that I'm in Scotland, I got an email about a writing job in Regina. I've never heard of the company, but still. In other news, I might collaborate on a short with a guy here in Fife. That would be cool. Actors with accents are funny.

So I'm in Scotland...

I narrowly missed a blizzard, waited in Toronto for 7 hours, spent over an hour trying to figure out how to use a phone and get out of the Glasgow airport, took a bus, saw sheep and shetland ponies, met a guy from jamaica with a half scottish/half jamaican accent, arrived on time to miss the ridiculousness of the crash at London Heathrow/flooding, and now I'm in Kirkcaldy.

Scotland is pretty much Vancouver with old buildings, accents, and no brown people (with the exception of the previously mentioned Jamaican guy).

All I've really done since I got here is sleep, read, and watch awesome, not-so-subtley racist British Disney movies from the 60s.

The family I'm staying with is awesome. The dad is from Indiana, likes comic books, and has worked in film, and the mom is British, but did all of her university in North America, and knows what I'm talking about when I mention random places in Vancouver.

The kids have proved my theory that all kids with accents are smarter than their North American counterparts. They're freaky smart. Their vocabularies are awesome, and the little girl is currently reading Steven Hawkings yet to be released childrens book. And she doesn't like meat, so bonus points to her.

Scottish milk tastes way different than Canadian milk. It's a lot milkier.

I still haven't finished unpacking. I realize now that I brought way more crap than was necessary.

They spell things weird here. And even though everyone is super duper nice, I have no idea what most people are saying.

I have no idea what Marmite is, but it doesn't look appealing. I also saw an Irish Wolf Hound and am now afraid of them. Apparently it's really easy/cheap to get to Ireland from here. I'm considering it.

There's a bed and breakfast next door if anyone feels like hitting up the Kirkcaldy area. Also, there is an extra bed here, but only for one person.

I might be going to France in July.

I'm done writing now.